u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
