we have officially lost it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
