I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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