Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
