dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
