I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
