Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
