Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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