i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize