I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
