I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
two words...techno handjob
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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