Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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