I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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