I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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