Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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