So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
