need another drink. this is the easiest way
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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