Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
