I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
