i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
