In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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