Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
