I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
