i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
