Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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