Kiss
Puke
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize