Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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