I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
