kristin has been a bad kristin
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
