So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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