so explain again why im purple
no
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
