Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
