I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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