Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
