if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
