I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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