planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
