She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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