God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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