singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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