She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
