You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
