i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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