is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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