I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
