you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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