You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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