I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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