come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize