guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
