And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
