I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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