You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
