I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
