did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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