Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
