Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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