i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
do nipples grow back?
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