so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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