About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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