Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
