Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
