While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
