The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
