Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
