That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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