Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just high enough for therapy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
